DAVE'S LIFE ON HOLD

Paradigms are Cancer

When you think about paradigms objectively, and by objectively I mean without an emotional attachment which prevents challenging your base assumptions, they are inherently dangerous.  Not in a gun without a safety, or a slippery knife handle sort of way, but in a dear god what have you done, you killed them all and the women and children too sort of dangerous. 

I'd rather bring a thermonuclear device to a game of hopscotch than purport to adhere to most paradigms. 

What makes saying that sound funny is I have expressed a cycle of thinking where I wax and wane pro/con on so many paradigms that people believe that I actually believe in something more profound. 

Let's take static typing, which I take to be a load of rubbish. But I love Ocaml!  What sort of double think is this?  How can I think Ocaml's theoretical basis is rubbish but love the language?

Simple elegance trumps ideology. 

My preference for one language over another or one methodology for another is nothing more than an aesthetic. It means no more than a haircut on a summer's day. I may have been hot under that shaggy mane, but the style is a means to an end.  To beat the heat. 

This is why I love languages like Forth, simple elegance trumps ideology. It is typeless, it is syntaxless, and awesomely powerful in a thermonuclear device at a game of hopscotch.  Awesome like a blackhole devouring worlds awesome. 

Do I think Forth is a good ideology?  Does it embody some higher order that expresses some fundamental reality?  Maybe it does but I don't care, it is fun to play with. 

This is why I also hate languages like Java, with their paradigms and incessant pragmatisms that turns Brahms into Bieber.  Who in their right mind would intentionally cripple themselves by slicing off both hands just to prevent the average programmer from potentially engaging in a little mental masturbation.  

"Can't have programmers designing elegant systems afterall, the halfwits we'll hire to maintain that shit will only fuck it up in the end."
- some random asshole who probably enjoys banking

Even the LCD paradigm is a cancer, guised as a panacea of pragmatism.  You can't both prevent programmers from screwing things up and allow them to create anything of lasting beauty. Someone has to be able to use the exacto-knife. 

No don't do it; put down those safety scissors!

Until you see paradigms as the cancer they are, and feel free to change your mind at any time, you will remain a slave to the Memes.